In My Daughters Eyes

This song is dear to me. This is the song my mom sang to me in the hospital one night. She played the CD and sang it to me. She believed in all her heart that this song resembled me and our relationship we had. My mom told me that she hopes I keep her close to me and in my life through this song and the memories we shared. I just wanted to share this with the people that are dear to my heart. I loved my mom with all my heart and miss her everyday of my life. But I listen to this song everyday to remind how great she was and the memories I shared with her. I hope you will some day listen to this song with me! I just wish you guys could have heard my mom sing it in her amazing voice. She will be apart of my life forever!

In My Daughters Eyes

By: Martina McBride

In my daughter's eyes
I am a hero
I am strong and wise
and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me
gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes
I can see the future
A reflection of who I am
and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see
how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes

Camp Fair better than the BIG Job Fair

In my reflections from the class I realized I had not put down why I chose not to go to the BIG Job Fair. So I am going to tell you. I have been to a similar one in the past and found it very boring and not up my ally of what I want to do for a job. So I did not want to spend $5. When I looked at the jobs the fair was showing it had nothing that interested me. I decided to go to a Camp Fair at Augustana College instead. I went there wanting to explore options for my summer and for the future.

As I walked into the room I felt over whelmed with all the people. There was around 15 to 20 camps there for people to talk to and look at experiences people have at the different places. I came to realize at that moment many camps there are just in the midwest. I glimpsed at a few camps but they were camps that did interest me as much because they were majority for families or not adventurous like I love. I already knew I was having an interview for Lutheran Outdoors there because they were at the University of Sioux Falls the week before. I found one camp that looked amazing with hiking and high ropes at it. I just found there are many different camps religious and non-religious that look for well rounded Christian people to work for them for a summer.

I asked some of the people. What do you look for in a full time staff position? I heard a lot of different things, but I heard three things the most. The first is a person open to new things and easy going. The other two I heard were experience in leading a group of people and having a background in different types of outdoors skills. They look for these three things the most, but they told me a degree in Leadership, Communications, Theology, Sociology, or something close is also nice to have.

I realize now after talking to these different camps and hearing their perspectives I see that I am heading in the right direction; since I want to work in this field. I am very excited about my future and what it could hold for me! We will see what happens!

Mismatched Worker

My dad was a mismatched worker throughout all my year of growing up! I know he was overworked at his job when I was younger. As I look back, I strongly believe his work formed him into a work a holic. Some Saturdays when i was with him i remember going to his work. He would give me a game boy to play with while he worked for a few hours. During those days besides Satyrdays I remember my dad going to work by 7AM every morning and trying to get home by 5:30PM for supper, but it did not matter he brought work home with him. My dad tried to be a good family man, but was not very successful in that department. When he got let go from his job he got another one for a few year and then another.

Then he soon bought a bakery. I know bakeries are very busy, but it seemed he was never around. This bakery cut out even more of his family time and made it very minimal. Even when my mom became sick he still worked his heart out. He didn't set aside time specifically for us. He tried but I think he was brain washed by his first job into thinking how much time one has to work. I felt like I didn't have a dad half of the time.

Soon my dad got hit by a brick in the back of the head. He soon realized he had not been there for my mom and then she passed away soon after. For the last months he partnered with her until the end. At that point I finally saw my dad's maturity coming out. Plus, he figured out one does not need to work as much as he did.

When I was growing up I thought that it was the normal thing for a parent to work as much as my dad did. I hated my dad for it when I was growing up; especially since he took his frusturation out on my brother. I did not like seeing what I saw when I was younger between my brother and my dad. I wish this on no one else. Mismatched working like my dad did is not a good thing to have and my dad's sisters are the same way. Could it be heritary?

MY GOALS

My Goals

1. Go backpacking with Liberty

2. Go backpacking in Europe

3. Go to Europe on a trip for school

4. Have a drink on my 21st birthday

5. Have an adventurous summer

6. Move a grade up in reffing

7. Become a better leader on my soccer team

8. Learn a new outdoor skill

9. Get my wilderness first aide certification

10. Read the whole Bible

11. Go surfing

12. Go pair sailing

13. Go to Project Dance again

14. Climb a volcano

15. Climb a 14er in Colorado

16. Go snorkeling

17. Get a dog for a pet

18. Climb a 5.9

19. Become closer with people on my soccer team

20. Keep my Sunday School girls in my life better

21. Read more

22. Keep daily thoughts (like I used to)

23. Go to graduate school or seminary

24. Become a coach for a soccer team

25. Be a camp director

26. Get married

27. Learn to paint and draw

28. Go Sailing

29. Share Christ with a close friend

30. Teach dance somewhere

Never Forget

Never Forget

My sixteenth birthday party was normal until that night when I went to bed. In the middle of the night I heard a whisper in my head for help. When I awoke I thought it was a dream, but I felt this nudge from someone to get out of bed. When I got into to the living room I found my mom wheezing for air. At first I panicked and my mind went dead. I did not know what to do. The moment I saw my mom stop breathing put life in perspective for me. Surprisingly, I ran to the phone and dialed 911. Talking on the phone made me frantic and unfocused.
Finally, I gasped a massive breath when the ambulance pulled up. Relieved, worried, and distressed compacted all the feelings I experienced the moment the paramedics arrived. Seeing my mom in that gloomy state was depressing. As they took my mom in the ambulance and drove off it felt like they took part of my heart with them and it became broken. After that, I could barely remember what happened; it did not even feel like I was there. My mind became unfocused; especially knowing my dad was gone and didn‘t know about what was happening. Thankfully, within five minutes my friend Gretchen pulled into my driveway to give me support and drive me to the hospital.
The five minute ride to the hospital felt like it took an hour. My heart was racing every moment of the way; Gretchen was worried about me because my eyes looked gloomy and red. My mind felt like it was there for hours. Within three hours my dad came rushing into the waiting room. I had never seen my dad so concerned, with tears in his eyes. Five hours later my mom was put into a room and was done being tested. They told us how she was doing and that she would hopefully pull through this trial. When I heard the news, it scared me because they said she might not be able to live through that complication.
Every night during the next week I brought my homework, a movie, and a game up to her room to spend the most time with her I could. During this time I expected that she would be coming home next week; by the end of the week she was 75 percent better than she was at the beginning of the week. Little did I know, the next day she went from the top of the peak to the deep valley. That day she went into a coma. Saying good-bye to her the night before was the last time I could talk to her. I regretted not saying more to her, but at least I said ‘I love you,’ and she said it back. Those words will stay in my mind for the rest of my life.
Seeing my mom in pain and laying there helpless is by far the worst picture I have had in my head. Watching someone suffer, I think might be worse than going through it myself. Knowing that I could not help my mom broke my heart. Seeing my friends sometimes just made it worse. All I wanted was my personal time and did not want to see anyone. Everyone asked the same questions. I got sick of answering them.
Vividly, I remember what I was thinking. I remember asking God why are You doing this to me, what’s wrong with me, and being jealous of others who would not have to go through something to this extent. In a dream God responded to me with, “Trust in me and I will show you the answers to your questions.” Believing what God said was the biggest test on my faith I will ever face. I still questioned God, but I strongly believed that someone could not just ignore a moment in their life like the trial God put before me.
That night I went in my mom’s room by myself and just talked to her openly as I firmly held her hand. My emotions poured out and never stopped. The thoughts kept on surfacing and my mouth kept on going; as it happened, I felt my mom squeeze harder every moment I spoke. I did not want her to leave my side at all, but I will always remember what she said. She came out of her coma for a short time; no one else saw it happen but me. She said, “Lauren, you will be fine. I will be with you in your heart forever. God is here with you and will always be by your side.” I thought God was talking to me through my mom; it felt like a dream. That moment dramatically changed my perspectives. I realized she wanted to go home and to be free of the pain she had.
The next day, my mom passed away from cancer. When I looked at my mom’s parents, my grandpa was sobbing and my grandma sat there in silence. I remember walking into my mom’s room and seeing her lifeless. Once I saw her my feet were glued to the floor and my eyes felt like they fell out. I could not focus on anything the rest of the day. All I did was go back to Gretchen’s house, relax, and read. My body felt like it partially passed out; I could not move parts of my body. I needed a day with my music, God, and the Bible. The cell phone rang non-stop; I did not even reach for it. My mind felt dead and I went to bed early.
The moment my mom stopped breathing put life in perspective for me. At this point in my life my beliefs were on the line. I could either look to God for comfort and shelter or turn away from Him. In the end my mind became bombarded with thoughts I never had before. That night I received peace from God, and I realized I would be fine. I just remember what my mom said, “Lauren, you will be fine. I will be with you in your heart forever. God is here with you and will always be by your side.”

Personal Skills & Quatlities

Think Functional Skills and Personal Qualities

Skills

1. Relational Skills - I can relate to many different people very easily.

2. Peacemaker - I find myself solving problems amongst family and friends for the majority of the time. Some times I hate this because people try to talk through me to each other. That does not fly with me!

3.Listening - I feel I am someone people can come and talk to about anything going on in their lives. I am very trustful with everything they say!

4. Leadership - I can lead a group of people easily when it is in something I know a lot about! I do not think I can lead everything because some people are better leaders in different aspect than I am.

5. Work well with others - I can easily work along side people. When I work with others I learn more from them usually then I do with what I am doing. It is a great way to get to know someone well.

6. Motivational Skills - This comes naturally for me. I feel I can help people gain the confidence they need to succeed at a task! I like helping others fulfill dreams or aspirations they have for themselves!

Personal Qualities

1. Adventurous - I love trying new, exciting things. The only thing I am not adventurous with is money, becuase I do not have the money to do different things with like other people do.

2. Patient - I have the time to wait for someone or something to finish. I will not get mad or frusturated at someone for taking to long. I have to be very patient since my family is not.

3. Versatile - I am very flexible. I do not stress about things very easily. I can change what I am doing and when I am doing. Unless it is my job than that's a little harder to do.

4. Enthusiastic - I often motivate others people to step out and try something or just finish what they started. I like encouraging others. I feel this is an important aspect of friendship.

5. Respobsible - I have the nature to be the responsible one. I am not a bossy person, but I like making sure people complete things just like a mom would do. I have to be this person for my brother and dad all the time. I think I grew into this role when my mom passed away becasue she did this all the time before she was gone.

Pushed to My Limits

I love being pushed to my limit. Two summers ago I was challenged at Peak 3, a servant leadership camp in Colorado. I remember every day I was there because each day is set aside for a specific event. The one day that sticks with me is the second day. Everyday they challenged us to what we thought was our limit, but in the end our limits we had set for ourselves were demolished.
The second day was high and low ropes courses. This day pushed me to what I thought was my limit. At breakfast they chose one person from each group to be muted for the day, and yes, I was chosen. I never knew how important communication was for me. For the whole day, well until supper, I could not vocally tell people how to do the activities that day. Instead, I showed by my example. This challenged me to step back in the group and see my friends step out and become leaders themselves. At Peak 3, they test people to try new things. For some it is becoming a vocal leader others like myself it was becoming a servant leader.
As I look back, I see why they chose me. They realized I was one of the vocal leaders of the group. They wanted to show me how to be more of a servant leader. I thank them for that. Also, it was a way to not let the natural leaders be the organizer of how to do things. Servant leaders help others become their best by showing them with their actions. Servants lead through their hearts not their mouths. This is a big accomplishment for me to realize that I should lead through my heart and actions I do. I have applied this to my life in many ways.
People should become more like a servant leader. A servant leader would respect what others have to say and their ideas. They would not try to be the ‘hero’ all the time. Being a hero does not mean one has to be the vocal leader. There are many people I know of that are great leaders from the past and present just through their actions. Actions are the key to showing people how to respect each other. People will listen to someone who leads by example before someone who just vocally tells them how to do certain things. One person on campus I think of to be a servant leader is Dr. Hiigel. Everything he said in class about faith, love, and hope I can see in his daily life. When I see him at church he is faithful to God and his family he loves. The hope he possesses in Jesus Christ our Lord shines through him whenever I see him. The first thing he asks me every time I see him is how is your walk going? I have a great respect for the leadership he shows in the classroom, at church, with his family, and every day of his life.
In order to become more of a servant I think one needs to be served. Once a person is being guided by friends around them he or she hopefully wants to return the favor. Being blind folded for part of the day would show a person how much some people need to be guided. A servant would give all he or she has to offer to a friend in need. I can affirm that with the time period I was blind folded at Peak 3 on the second day. For every activity we did that day people had to guide me because I could not see. While I was in this state I realized serving others through my example of bravery was the most interesting thing I have accomplished.
Besides becoming a mute for a day, they challenged me to be blind folded for every activity. We started off at low ropes, but at least they gave me the benefit of walking there with my eyes opened. The hardest part for me was trusting others to lead me in the right direction, because the first experience I had being blind folded my foot got crushed by a plank with Andrew, on it. However, I persevered through it. Each activity gave me more trust in my friends, God, and myself.
The whole morning kept on making me realize I need to rely on God and friends to get through the troubles of life that come in and out. I am very glad these were in the morning because these gave me confidence in doing the high ropes later. Little did I know that after the low ropes they made me walk back to the lodge for lunch blind folded, and our leaders said I would be like this until they said it was ok to remove the blind fold. Every step I took forward made me realize being a leader by example is the type of leader God wants us to become. This was scary for me because I did not know where I was headed, but had to have faith in the people around me. Finally, when we came to the lodge it was lunch time, but I did not realize I was going to eat blind. This broke me down, and I felt helpless. Throughout the day I broke the limits I thought I had for myself. Those limits should not have been in existence because I broke them.
Now, it was time to go to high ropes. This part of the day I was dreading. I sill had my blind fold on until we got to the course. On the way to the course I fell into a creek because no one helped me across. I felt like they were leaving me behind, but really they just did not remember I was disabled. At least, that did not break the trust I had in my team. They were nice to me finally, and let me take my blind fold off. This way, I could see others do the course in partners. They paired us up kind of randomly, but really they did by how much they thought each group could handle it.
They already told me and my partner, Margaret, that we would be going last. We watched all the groups go two-by-two. At that moment, they blind folded me and then Margaret realized that she was going to become blind too. They got us connected and it was time to go up the tree. Going up the tree I fell a little but the cord caught me. When we got to the top we had to trust people to tell us where to step onto the rope. The first steps we took we missed the rope to step on, but got back on track with the help of others.
During this day I learned a lot about myself. As I look back, I see why they chose me to be blinded. They pushed me over my limits that I had set. I learned limits people set for themselves are nonexistent because they usually pass them up. I realized now that I taught others how to be a servant to me and I felt like I served them. This is how I realized being an example to others is more unique and memorable then telling them how to do something. Being held back with a blind fold and muted mouth made me rely on everyone around me. It broke me down to the point where I totally trusted in God to pull me through.
The next two days were amazing because we did rock climbing and rappelling. I got to be a servant leader on showing how to accomplish the difficult rock climb. I was a coach. Also, rappelling was amazing. I did not go because we did not have time so I let people go who have not gone before. The climb made me rely on other people; I hurt my foot earlier in the week. I was still in the same group, but I was not the same leader I normally would have been. I enjoyed sitting back and watching others take the reins.
During that week, some of the employees sat me down and mentioned that I should think about coming back next summer to work there. I never thought sitting there that day it would come true. Little did I know what God had in stored for me. Last summer this came true. I went back to Peak 3 and worked there for a summer.
Working at Peak 3 gives you a different perspective on servant leadership. Now, I see how much work the interns from last summer had each day of the week. Even when we got to level we thought we had no energy it came out of no where. Facilitating activities I did the summer before that was interesting because when I picked the people to be muted and blindfolded I knew exactly how they felt. I always made a neat connection with two or more campers each week. Many of these relationships are still going on just not in person.
I am thankful for last summer and the opportunity I had to work at Peak 3 before it closed this year. I never knew that going to Peak 3 would lead me into Outdoor Ministries. My field of study here at University of Sioux Falls is Sociology and and inter-disciplinary in Outdoor Ministries combing theology, sports psychology, and some communication and theatre classes. These classes I hope will help me get a job in full-time outdoor ministries. My goal is to someday run a camp focused on bringing teens from the inter-city to the mountains to break them down. I would love to be a director of a camp similar to Peak 3 in years to come. But for now, I am excited to work at a new camp this summer. I am looking forward to going to California and using my outdoor and dancing skills at the same camp. God works in weird ways sometimes. For me, he needed to break me down to realize what I love is right under my nose!

Night Free

One night our professor asked us what we would do if we had the night free and did not have class. Would we be responsible or have fun?

My answer to this is I would have fun.

When we got let out I talked to three of my classmates and we decided to take a little walk and have a small adventure!

We walked over to First Baptist and one little Berty climbed a tree. as we watched because I did not have the right close on to climbed a tree.

SADNESS!

Then we explored Jefferson Elementary play ground. We climbed all over the playground! It was a ton of fun. But realized now that I can not do monkey bars anymore. I am getting old!

By 9PM we were back and I decided to try to crack down and do a little homework.

What Others Want Me To Do....

Grandpa Jorgenson:
He always said, "Do what your heart tells you to do!" He wanted me to be happy with what I was doing no matter what it was or how much I would make from it. When I told him what I was longing to do he supported me fully!
Grandma Jorgenson:
"Lauren, you need to become a doctor. That will give you all the money your mind deserves. I want you to be well off." My grandma does not like the idea of me becoming what my heart is longing to do. She thinks money is the option I need to follow. It does not matter if I like it or not. But she does think I would be good at what i want to do and will support me.
Mother:
When my mother was alive she would tell me to what my heart feels. She always wanted to support me in all I did. Especially what makes me happy and what I enjoy doing! My mother would always say, "Following money causes unhappiness, yet following your heart causes greatness in life." My mom had passion to support her children in all they did. This causes me to support my close friends and family in what they enjoy doing. My mom gave me passion in my heart for all I do and taught me to do everything full-heatedly. My mother always told me, "Follow your heart not your mind."
Father:
My father supports me in all I do I think. He will never really talk to me about what I am doing with my life or what I would like to do in the future. I do not feel like he care or wants to tell me what to do. Hopefully, he opens up to me more than he does now! I would really like his vocal support not just feeling like he supports me!
Aunt Judy:
She always did and still does want me to major in Math. Judy always tells me when I see her that I could do what my uncle (her husband does). She says I could make a lot of money and not having a passion for what you do is okay.
Aunt Marilyn:
She keeps telling me that if I ever need support send her a letter to let her know! Aunt Marilyn is probably the most supportive person in my family for what I want to do. I think she learned from her own experiences of doing something she does not have a passion for. She loves me like her own daughter.
Brother:
My brother tells all the time how he is going to be more happy than me because what he wants to do is going to pay way more than my jobs will! He tells me all the time that I need to major in math or science that will give me lots of money. He believes money = happiness.
Pastor Allen:
Allens states, "Listen to your heart and be happy with the calling God wants you to follow. He will give you the direction one will enjoy. God will provide all what you need if you follow the path He puts in front of you."
These people have made who I am in how I think. I have gotten enough support and lessons from these important people in my family that I know what I feel is right! These people have made me realize now that I am doing the right thing in following my heart and God's calling in my life. I have learned money is the most important thing but happiness is.

Childhood Dreams

1) What did you do for fun when you were a child?

The two places I loved being were outside or in the dance studio. When I was outside I loved biking, climbing every tree in sight, and playing any sport. I was a tom boy when as a I grew up I gradually grew out of that stage in my life. The other place I loved being was the dance studio. I got the privilege of taking dance when at six years old and still dance to this day.

The most memorable moments I have with me family are the camping trips we went on together. Whenever we went somewhere such as: the Grand Canyon, Yellowstone National Park, or the Black Hills, we would go camping instead of being cramped up in a hotel room. When we were there I always asked my parents can we go hiking, can I go to the climbing class, or something else that was outdoors. My dad was the one to support me in what I wanted to do while I was there. He would go with me to hike and go to climb. Even though we did not have the money to stay in a hotel room I am very glad we stayed in the wilderness.


2) What were your favorite toys?

My favorite toys were my bike, soccer ball, dance shoes, and injury kit.


3) What were your favorite games?

My favorite sports to play with the neighborhood were soccer, football, and baseball.

My favorite board games to play with the family were labrynth, dominoes, and many card games.




4) What came easy to you?

Dance came vey natural for me. I was very elite in my age group, so my teacher challenged me in moving me up to the next grade level. Another thing that came from my dance was my rock climbing skills. I never tried to actually rock climb with gear and such until the summer before my junior year of high school and I loved every minute of it! People kept telling me I was a natural. They said I had amazing leg strength and I said that is because I am a dancer.


The one subject that came very easily for me was math. I loved doing math and then I believe I got burnt out in that subject time I hit high school. Otherwise I probably would have majored in Math in college. I loved it and now when I do it I don't get joy out of it like I used to when I was younger, which is very sad.


5) What I wanted to be when I grow up?

I dreamed of becoming a dance teacher, park ranger, doctor, and a mathematician. Wanted to be just like my dance teacher I had growing up. She had a heart that was big enough for everyone to fit in.


6) Are you doing or fulfilling any of your dreams now?


Yes! I am actually a dance teacher in the present at the studio I took at and at the college I go to I started a liturgical dance group. I have loved every minute of teaching dance.


The other dream I am kind of fulfilling is Park Ranger. I would love to work full time in Outdoor Ministries which is similar because both of the jobs are outdoors. I have a passion for the outdoors and teaching others the adventures one can go on outside! My passion has increased into helping youth-in-need in the outdoors.

The What of It All...

"Every mission requires action and action words are verbs."

Puzzle Piece 1: 21 Words I Chose to Describe Myself:

Appreciate

Believe

Accomplish

Counsel

Demonstrate

Dream

Encourage

Facilitate

Forgive

Support

Inspire

Lead

Love

Nurture

Persuade

Motivate

Sacrifice

Satisfy

Relax

Worship

Understand

Puzzle Piece 2: What is Your Core?

"Serve To Fulfill."

Puzzle Piece 3: Who you are here to Help?

Park & Recreation

Youth-in-need

Non-Profite Agencies

Water

I am most like water.

12 Characteristics

Powerful

Adventurous

Calm

Patient

Unpredictable

Audacious

Eventful

Inspirational

Trusting

Natural

Enthusiastic

Bold

12 Verbs/Actions

Comforts

Relaxes

Distracts

Instigates

Exercises

Relieves

Animates

Motivates

Bestowes

Encourages

Entertains

Reassures

I, Lauren, am WATER.

~

Meditation

By: Laurie Beth Jones

I am earth--

the soil that supports

and nutrures living things.

I give solid footing

to those around me.

I am wind--

the power that

sweeps away old fears

and carries new ideas

liks springtime.

I am fire--

igniting the power

and passion in others.

I give warmth

on cold, wintry nights,

and clear the way

for new beginnings.

I am water--

irrestible.

No obstacle can stop me.

I go over, under,

around and through.

I change forms

to steam or ice

or rain.

I bring life

wherever I go.

I touch everyone

I meet.