In My Daughters Eyes

This song is dear to me. This is the song my mom sang to me in the hospital one night. She played the CD and sang it to me. She believed in all her heart that this song resembled me and our relationship we had. My mom told me that she hopes I keep her close to me and in my life through this song and the memories we shared. I just wanted to share this with the people that are dear to my heart. I loved my mom with all my heart and miss her everyday of my life. But I listen to this song everyday to remind how great she was and the memories I shared with her. I hope you will some day listen to this song with me! I just wish you guys could have heard my mom sing it in her amazing voice. She will be apart of my life forever!

In My Daughters Eyes

By: Martina McBride

In my daughter's eyes
I am a hero
I am strong and wise
and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me
gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes
I can see the future
A reflection of who I am
and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see
how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes

Camp Fair better than the BIG Job Fair

In my reflections from the class I realized I had not put down why I chose not to go to the BIG Job Fair. So I am going to tell you. I have been to a similar one in the past and found it very boring and not up my ally of what I want to do for a job. So I did not want to spend $5. When I looked at the jobs the fair was showing it had nothing that interested me. I decided to go to a Camp Fair at Augustana College instead. I went there wanting to explore options for my summer and for the future.

As I walked into the room I felt over whelmed with all the people. There was around 15 to 20 camps there for people to talk to and look at experiences people have at the different places. I came to realize at that moment many camps there are just in the midwest. I glimpsed at a few camps but they were camps that did interest me as much because they were majority for families or not adventurous like I love. I already knew I was having an interview for Lutheran Outdoors there because they were at the University of Sioux Falls the week before. I found one camp that looked amazing with hiking and high ropes at it. I just found there are many different camps religious and non-religious that look for well rounded Christian people to work for them for a summer.

I asked some of the people. What do you look for in a full time staff position? I heard a lot of different things, but I heard three things the most. The first is a person open to new things and easy going. The other two I heard were experience in leading a group of people and having a background in different types of outdoors skills. They look for these three things the most, but they told me a degree in Leadership, Communications, Theology, Sociology, or something close is also nice to have.

I realize now after talking to these different camps and hearing their perspectives I see that I am heading in the right direction; since I want to work in this field. I am very excited about my future and what it could hold for me! We will see what happens!

Mismatched Worker

My dad was a mismatched worker throughout all my year of growing up! I know he was overworked at his job when I was younger. As I look back, I strongly believe his work formed him into a work a holic. Some Saturdays when i was with him i remember going to his work. He would give me a game boy to play with while he worked for a few hours. During those days besides Satyrdays I remember my dad going to work by 7AM every morning and trying to get home by 5:30PM for supper, but it did not matter he brought work home with him. My dad tried to be a good family man, but was not very successful in that department. When he got let go from his job he got another one for a few year and then another.

Then he soon bought a bakery. I know bakeries are very busy, but it seemed he was never around. This bakery cut out even more of his family time and made it very minimal. Even when my mom became sick he still worked his heart out. He didn't set aside time specifically for us. He tried but I think he was brain washed by his first job into thinking how much time one has to work. I felt like I didn't have a dad half of the time.

Soon my dad got hit by a brick in the back of the head. He soon realized he had not been there for my mom and then she passed away soon after. For the last months he partnered with her until the end. At that point I finally saw my dad's maturity coming out. Plus, he figured out one does not need to work as much as he did.

When I was growing up I thought that it was the normal thing for a parent to work as much as my dad did. I hated my dad for it when I was growing up; especially since he took his frusturation out on my brother. I did not like seeing what I saw when I was younger between my brother and my dad. I wish this on no one else. Mismatched working like my dad did is not a good thing to have and my dad's sisters are the same way. Could it be heritary?

MY GOALS

My Goals

1. Go backpacking with Liberty

2. Go backpacking in Europe

3. Go to Europe on a trip for school

4. Have a drink on my 21st birthday

5. Have an adventurous summer

6. Move a grade up in reffing

7. Become a better leader on my soccer team

8. Learn a new outdoor skill

9. Get my wilderness first aide certification

10. Read the whole Bible

11. Go surfing

12. Go pair sailing

13. Go to Project Dance again

14. Climb a volcano

15. Climb a 14er in Colorado

16. Go snorkeling

17. Get a dog for a pet

18. Climb a 5.9

19. Become closer with people on my soccer team

20. Keep my Sunday School girls in my life better

21. Read more

22. Keep daily thoughts (like I used to)

23. Go to graduate school or seminary

24. Become a coach for a soccer team

25. Be a camp director

26. Get married

27. Learn to paint and draw

28. Go Sailing

29. Share Christ with a close friend

30. Teach dance somewhere

Never Forget

Never Forget

My sixteenth birthday party was normal until that night when I went to bed. In the middle of the night I heard a whisper in my head for help. When I awoke I thought it was a dream, but I felt this nudge from someone to get out of bed. When I got into to the living room I found my mom wheezing for air. At first I panicked and my mind went dead. I did not know what to do. The moment I saw my mom stop breathing put life in perspective for me. Surprisingly, I ran to the phone and dialed 911. Talking on the phone made me frantic and unfocused.
Finally, I gasped a massive breath when the ambulance pulled up. Relieved, worried, and distressed compacted all the feelings I experienced the moment the paramedics arrived. Seeing my mom in that gloomy state was depressing. As they took my mom in the ambulance and drove off it felt like they took part of my heart with them and it became broken. After that, I could barely remember what happened; it did not even feel like I was there. My mind became unfocused; especially knowing my dad was gone and didn‘t know about what was happening. Thankfully, within five minutes my friend Gretchen pulled into my driveway to give me support and drive me to the hospital.
The five minute ride to the hospital felt like it took an hour. My heart was racing every moment of the way; Gretchen was worried about me because my eyes looked gloomy and red. My mind felt like it was there for hours. Within three hours my dad came rushing into the waiting room. I had never seen my dad so concerned, with tears in his eyes. Five hours later my mom was put into a room and was done being tested. They told us how she was doing and that she would hopefully pull through this trial. When I heard the news, it scared me because they said she might not be able to live through that complication.
Every night during the next week I brought my homework, a movie, and a game up to her room to spend the most time with her I could. During this time I expected that she would be coming home next week; by the end of the week she was 75 percent better than she was at the beginning of the week. Little did I know, the next day she went from the top of the peak to the deep valley. That day she went into a coma. Saying good-bye to her the night before was the last time I could talk to her. I regretted not saying more to her, but at least I said ‘I love you,’ and she said it back. Those words will stay in my mind for the rest of my life.
Seeing my mom in pain and laying there helpless is by far the worst picture I have had in my head. Watching someone suffer, I think might be worse than going through it myself. Knowing that I could not help my mom broke my heart. Seeing my friends sometimes just made it worse. All I wanted was my personal time and did not want to see anyone. Everyone asked the same questions. I got sick of answering them.
Vividly, I remember what I was thinking. I remember asking God why are You doing this to me, what’s wrong with me, and being jealous of others who would not have to go through something to this extent. In a dream God responded to me with, “Trust in me and I will show you the answers to your questions.” Believing what God said was the biggest test on my faith I will ever face. I still questioned God, but I strongly believed that someone could not just ignore a moment in their life like the trial God put before me.
That night I went in my mom’s room by myself and just talked to her openly as I firmly held her hand. My emotions poured out and never stopped. The thoughts kept on surfacing and my mouth kept on going; as it happened, I felt my mom squeeze harder every moment I spoke. I did not want her to leave my side at all, but I will always remember what she said. She came out of her coma for a short time; no one else saw it happen but me. She said, “Lauren, you will be fine. I will be with you in your heart forever. God is here with you and will always be by your side.” I thought God was talking to me through my mom; it felt like a dream. That moment dramatically changed my perspectives. I realized she wanted to go home and to be free of the pain she had.
The next day, my mom passed away from cancer. When I looked at my mom’s parents, my grandpa was sobbing and my grandma sat there in silence. I remember walking into my mom’s room and seeing her lifeless. Once I saw her my feet were glued to the floor and my eyes felt like they fell out. I could not focus on anything the rest of the day. All I did was go back to Gretchen’s house, relax, and read. My body felt like it partially passed out; I could not move parts of my body. I needed a day with my music, God, and the Bible. The cell phone rang non-stop; I did not even reach for it. My mind felt dead and I went to bed early.
The moment my mom stopped breathing put life in perspective for me. At this point in my life my beliefs were on the line. I could either look to God for comfort and shelter or turn away from Him. In the end my mind became bombarded with thoughts I never had before. That night I received peace from God, and I realized I would be fine. I just remember what my mom said, “Lauren, you will be fine. I will be with you in your heart forever. God is here with you and will always be by your side.”

Personal Skills & Quatlities

Think Functional Skills and Personal Qualities

Skills

1. Relational Skills - I can relate to many different people very easily.

2. Peacemaker - I find myself solving problems amongst family and friends for the majority of the time. Some times I hate this because people try to talk through me to each other. That does not fly with me!

3.Listening - I feel I am someone people can come and talk to about anything going on in their lives. I am very trustful with everything they say!

4. Leadership - I can lead a group of people easily when it is in something I know a lot about! I do not think I can lead everything because some people are better leaders in different aspect than I am.

5. Work well with others - I can easily work along side people. When I work with others I learn more from them usually then I do with what I am doing. It is a great way to get to know someone well.

6. Motivational Skills - This comes naturally for me. I feel I can help people gain the confidence they need to succeed at a task! I like helping others fulfill dreams or aspirations they have for themselves!

Personal Qualities

1. Adventurous - I love trying new, exciting things. The only thing I am not adventurous with is money, becuase I do not have the money to do different things with like other people do.

2. Patient - I have the time to wait for someone or something to finish. I will not get mad or frusturated at someone for taking to long. I have to be very patient since my family is not.

3. Versatile - I am very flexible. I do not stress about things very easily. I can change what I am doing and when I am doing. Unless it is my job than that's a little harder to do.

4. Enthusiastic - I often motivate others people to step out and try something or just finish what they started. I like encouraging others. I feel this is an important aspect of friendship.

5. Respobsible - I have the nature to be the responsible one. I am not a bossy person, but I like making sure people complete things just like a mom would do. I have to be this person for my brother and dad all the time. I think I grew into this role when my mom passed away becasue she did this all the time before she was gone.